Cry out of joy

the feelings of crying and laughing are not contradictory. You can cry out of joy, not only out of misery; you can cry out of great blissfulness.

Tears are nothing but an overflow they can be an overflow of sadness, they can be an overflow of joy, they can be an overflow of love. And because your crying and laughter are together, it is absolutely certain that your crying and your laughter are not contradictory. Your laughter is so overwhelming that tears come to your eyes you cannot contain it, it is not finished and exhausted in laughter itself. The joy is so much that it needs your laughter and your tears both to express itself.

So I will not call it a mixture of feelings, but simply a two-dimensional expression of a single feeling

the same thing is the case. Sadness is not necessarily misery, suffering, pain it is associated with those things because we live in misery, in suffering, in pain. That’s why we don’t know other nuances of sadness. A silent man also feels deep sadness, but it is not out of suffering, it is just an expression of silence.

The joy can be so great that it becomes inexpressible. Expression has limitations – how to express joy ? You can dance, you can sing. Because you cannot express your joy, that unexpressed joy comes out as something closer to sadness. But it is not the sadness that people know ordinarily, it is just that joy unexpressed turns into silence and sadness.  There is no contradiction, you need not be worried about it.

And don’t stop your tears, don’t be shy about crying; it is one of the most beautiful experiences. But it has been condemned for centuries by the old humanity. People have been told that it is not manly to cry and weep.

Now, psychological researchers say something totally different. They say women have never been conditioned against crying and weeping for the simple reason that man wanted them to look weak,not to look strong. He himself wanted to look strong, made of steel. Crying and weeping is for the weak, feminine mind. So he has never stopped them. But the ultimate result is that women live five years longer than men. One hundred and fifteen boys are born for every one hundred girls, but by the time they get married, fifteen boys have died off while a hundred girls are still alive; they are stronger, they have more resistance.

Women talk about suicide more than men – almost every day, over any small thing – but they never commit it.  Even if sometimes they commit suicide they commit it with sleeping pills,  just so the husband has to call the doctor and becomes ashamed. And the neighborhood gathers, and humiliates him:

”You should not behave so... you are a barbarian!”
And the woman does not die.

The number of suicides of men is double that of women; the number of murders is twenty times more than those of women. The amount of madness is four times more than women’s. It is very strange, because the women look more crazy – they go crazy about small things. They start throwing cups and saucers... but they always  throw cheap things. I have been watching,  because this is strange:

they never throw costly things. They throw pillows, they don’t really want to hurt – they throw in such a way that it does not hurt the husband.  But they create a tantrum, and the whole neighborhood knows.

And that’s what the husband is afraid of ! So they make a fool of him, and he’s  ready to accept whatever they want. Whichever movie they want to go to, whichever car they want to purchase, the husband will purchase it even if he has to sell himself.  ”Nothing to worry... but don’t make a drama!”

But strangely enough, women don’t go mad as much as men, and the psychological insight is that it is because they are free to cry and to weep. They are free to throw tantrums,  break old, rotten pottery, cups and saucers which anyway had to be thrown.

But in this way, they release their madness in installments – the American way !

Man goes on accumulating, and there comes a point that it becomes too much and he has to do something kill himself, or kill somebody else.

I used to be a neighbor of a Bengali professor, Professor Battacharya. The first day I entered my bungalow at night, there was a great fight between Battacharya and his wife. And the walls were so thin that even if you whispered, still you could hear... and they were shouting! Although I had no idea of Bengali...

but one thing was certain: something was going to happen, they were really furious! Finally, the professor opened the door and went out.

I had to ask the wife, ”I don’t know you people, I have come for the first day to this house, but I cannot resist the temptation to inquire what is happening. Where has your husband gone? And because I don’t understand your language, it has become even more difficult  otherwise, I would have done something. You just tell me – where has he gone in the middle of the night?”

She said, ”You need not be worried. He has gone to commit suicide.”
I said, ”Are you mad? If he has gone to commit suicide... you are telling me not to be worried?”

She said, ”He goes almost every day. You don’t know Bengalis. They are not like Punjabis that if they go to commit suicide, they will commit it. He will come back within five, seven minutes – just wait.”

I said, ”Okay, but my feeling is that I should go and find him.”
She said, ”Don’t be worried, he will be just five or seven minutes at the most.” And within seven minutes, he was back!

I asked him, ”You had gone to commit suicide?”
He said, ”Yes, I had gone to commit suicide, but the train comes only one time a day. It comes in the morning at eight o’clock, and to pass the whole night in the cold, lying down on the rails ... it is too much.  I will rest in the house, and I will see in the morning.”

His wife said, ”Look, do you think this man will ever be capable of committing suicide?”

And then it was every day, but by and by I became accustomed. One day he came back because it started raining.  A man who has gone to commit suicide does not come back because it is raining!

What does it matter when you are going to die? But any excuse... and his wife was absolutely certain that there was no need to be alarmed: ”In Bengal, no Bengali commits suicide. They talk about it.”

One day things came to such a great crisis that he told his wife, ”You prepare my tiffin.”

I was listening – they were fighting. Suddenly he said, ”You prepare my tiffin. I’m going to commit suicide.” And I saw him going out with his umbrella and tiffin. I asked Battacharya, ”Have you decided firmly this time?”

He said, ”Absolutely!  Just because the trains arrive late, I’m taking the tiffin with me. I’m not going to come back. Enough is enough.”

But the train was very late. And the first thing he did – because I followed him.... The station was not far away from the university, just half a mile. I followed behind him to see what he did. The first thing he did, sitting under a beautiful tree – he ate his breakfast, and inquired when the train would come. It was six hours late, so he went back.

I met him on the way. I said, ”What happened?”
He said, ”It is too late. And in six hours, I will again feel hungry. So it is better to go home, and if I decide to commit suicide, I will have to bring the tiffin again.”

But this may be a special characteristic of the Bengalis!

Generally, around the world,  men commit suicide four times more than women, but more in countries which are countries of warriors. For example, in Japan, the ratio is ten times more. A Japanese can commit suicide for the slightest reason – such a trivial thing that you would not think that it was worth committing suicide over. In Germany, seven times more men than women do it.

The warrior races....  Man is trained to prove himself as if made of steel, and a man made of steel does not cry. The psychological investigations show that it is crying and weeping that makes women stronger in many ways – they live longer, they have more resistance against weaknesses, sicknesses. Men become sick more. Women have more resistance against pain, misery, poverty, than men, and the whole credit goes to their tears – because they can cry wholeheartedly.

enjoy crying and laughing together  that is what is expected of every madman. Only madmen laugh and cry together, sane people do only one thing at a time. They always remain rational. They think crying and laughing are contradictory, so if they want to cry and laugh, they separate them  sometimes they can cry, sometimes they can laugh, but they miss the joy of the harmony of both.  Neither is laughter by itself so juicy as it is with crying and tears, nor are tears so dancing as they are with laughter. Each misses something.

Always remember  that you have the full orchestra within you. without any fear.  Let the world think you are mad. If you are enjoying it, it is right! If you can dance and sing and cry altogether,  simultaneously They are together. In the deepest silences of your heart, they are together. Express them as they come naturally, and don’t be ashamed of anything.

Never be ashamed of your nature be respectful of your nature. Never have any condemnatory tone. That’s what all the traditions have given to you as a heritage condemnation of yourself. And in this tricky manner they have taken away your dignity, your self-respect.